How much do we contribute?

It was a nonchalant discussion that heated up as the power failed at office the other day. Power failure, an AC chamber and a debate! Could it get any hotter than that? The topic of discussion: individual contributions of “us” outsiders to the city of our destiny, Bangalore.

For one, there is a hysterical passion inside me towards this city which has given me so much, figuratively and literally!

The chamber was a perfect halo of diversity. One from the capital, one from the economical capital, one from the land of Godhra, err.. Gandhi and myself a self proclaimed lover of this city! So that makes me a guy from Bangalore, right!

People who have been an agent in stuffs like debate would well agree that it may start taking opinions from the group as a whole but after sometime the onus of continuing it further lies on the shoulders of only two individuals.
As it happens in casual debates, the germ of the topic arose from somewhere which nobody in the group could fathom. But because we had started it, so it continued.

The topic – the contribution of outsiders to this city

This opened up a box of bees. The noise started buzzing frantically. Me pointing out that most of us coming from outside have been selfish enough in our contributions towards the city, which apparently is our karma bhoomi.
The guy from the capital popped first “ Arree yaar what do you talk about contribution? The whole point that I have been working here itself is a contribution to the city from my side.” A typical style from one of the parts of our country!

The guy from the financial capital asked me, “You tell me what has been your contribution to this city?” “You talk about feeling proud and contributing towards the city, can you elucidate something that you have contributed?” A very nice question!

Having belled, and afraid to be given a politician tag, blurted a few areas where I had utilized my physical energy and personal time. Ending the sentence with ‘ feel proud that there has been some contribution from my side towards the positive development of the city”.
“So even we are paying taxes? Are we not contributing towards the city?”, blurted the guy from the money capital of India.

“You may be, but that contribution is by default. Everyone who’s working here has to pay that,” I justified back. “Moreover the money that you say goes to all the litter we do around the streets. Throwing garbage, pissing around trees, spitting in public places, throwing soft drinks bottles wherever we want… whatever “professional tax” we say that we are contributing goes for cleaning all the literal rubbish we do in this city… Maybe that was not a valid point but the bottom line definitely hit somebody’s head.

“Who said I do all these here?” spoke the capital city guy. It must have hit him real hard.
“Nah, please do not take it subjectively but objectively. This might not be the case of us but the larger part of the influx does this. We are bloody selfish,” I remarked.

“Chal pagal… let me do some work”, said the guy from the financial capital and started
fidgeting with his mobile. In the meanwhile the guy from the land of the Gandhi quietly stepped out of the discussion. Now who’s left? An adopted Bangalorian and another from the heart of the Hindi heartland!

The topic had not yet got a final farewell when all of a sudden the debate of north and the south sprung out from somewhere. Casual debating at its best!

The north felt offended with the attitude of the south and the south decried the arrogance and narcissism of the north. Issues rose from both the sides. Of north being the bread bowl and with it south would have been in a soup, south being spoilt to a certain extent by the influx of the culturally spastic north…both the sides had our own point to defend.

That the recognition of this city is all because of the people who have come from the north to work and my justification that the state was better without people from outside…all formed the jamboree of our discussion.

The culture of wearing a shirt worth thousands apparently bringing the social in thing to the south (an apparent contribution of the north. And what a contribution it has been;) was shredded in this potboiler of a debate.

Power still seemed miles away. No body questioned me on that, at least!!

The debate went on and on. Voices started getting louder. The chamber belonged to the guy from the financial capital, so he played the good moderator and put water on the fire by suggesting that the debate would go till eternity.

But the question still remained unanswered “How much are we contributing towards the city? Is paying a default professional tax enough a contribution to the city?”

The debate did not get a fair conclusion with too many things coming in between. Maybe we are too selfish in our contributions or am I to jingoistic about this city?

Am a little confused on this?

RESERVATION DESERVATION!!!!

Reservation incidentally is not the idea of an India whose time has come. The repercussion of the political decision for reserving half of the quotas for the scheduled castes and tribes has starkly divided the nation into educational ghettoization. This certainly does not augur well for a nation that so very well is trying to root its paws into the den of developed nations.

More importantly, this does not hold good for the tomorrow of a nation which seems inspiringly proud of having in possession the youngest dormant human resource pool available across nations.
The oft repeated plagiarized quote by our Prime Minister Dr. MM Singh sounds so much a farce at this point in time. To put it accordingly – “An idea whose time has come”

This certainly is not a blueprint whose time has come, Dear Sir.

Reservation subjected to caste is an initiative that has had to be aborted at the fetal stage itself. Or rather an idea which should not have been impregnated into the minds at the first place!

What are we talking about? Reservations in the name of caste!?

Honestly speaking, as an inspired nation, we do not expect us (read: India) to be led by mindsets pertaining to the 18th century! The obesity of eccentricities by a bundle of jokers sitting at the helm of affair is very perplexing!

There are some exceptions to the rule though. And the exceptions are distinctly well laid when it comes to reservations. Provide enough and equal opportunities for “reserved” ones from primary and high school levels, so that they could be in great competition amongst equals!
After all, no nation can afford to rest assured its future on semi-boiled talents.

Also provide opportunities (economical as well as social security) to the real latent potentials amongst these camps that are oblivious in this muddle of caste and creed.

Surely, there would be academic gems in the scheduled castes and tribes too. Scout for these talents, nurture them at nascent stages, condition them to succeed and then watch the bloom of a nation showering out from a rainbow of talents.

Reservation on the basis of caste! The sooner we dump those fuddy-duddy baggages, the better it would be promises for our nation. As the thumping cliché the generation next has been vociferously sloganeering - “Let merit be the deciding factor and not the womb!”

Now let us shift our focus on another aspect. But equally knitted with this paraphernalia of “reservations”!
This would be one of the most hilariously ridiculous prepositions any nation would have faced.

A year back, our Honorable Prime Minister unveiled a project which he made everyone believe was a dream project.

Christened – NATIONAL KNOWLEDGE COMMISSION

Goal – Advise the Prime Minister on matters relating to institutions of knowledge production, knowledge use and knowledge dissemination.

Mandate of the commission – To sharpen India’s “knowledge edge”.

Now does this have any place in our country where in a class of hundred, 50 would be burning the midnight oil to get well placed into respectable positions in the society and the other half would be as relaxed as ever, comfortably squatting on the sofa called reservations.

Reservations in premier and specialized institutions today might percolate into private sectors the day after tomorrow. This is very much a possibility looking at the way the politics of our country functions or rather malfunctions.

To relate an anecdote -

During my sojourn to Pune recently, the gentleman with whom I had the pleasure of sharing my seat was an alumnus of the prestigious IIT – Kanpur who was also presently pursuing his MBA from IIM – Ahemadabad (both on merit basis).

The journalist in me cringed to take his views on this whole reservation debate.

If his thoughts on reservations could be taken as a symbolic representation of what runs through the minds of the students who have made through the merit list vis-à-vis, the reserved lists, we could well come up with some conclusion on whether to put this thing in or to dump the issue in the bin.

“Personally if you ask me, I would say that it is ridiculous for us to still debate on this issue of reservation based on caste. During my engineering at IIT (K) most of the students who came on the so called “quota” were so casual about their studies. And mind, you they were not from families who could not afford them the luxuries of a good life. They belonged to rich families and had all the pleasures of living. Not saying that there were not any students from the list who did not do well, but most of them took things so nonchalantly and relaxed. Some of them have been there for years”.

Let everyone play on an equal field. Do not elevate the field for somebody just on the basis of their caste or birth.

The people who are for the reservation bill say that since India has 50% of SC and ST’s, and only 15% of general merit class, there has been huge injustice for them in terms of reservation.
Well said. The point is respected.

In that case, an out of the box solution is to be thought with respect to the reservation issue.

Maybe we should make the whole country OBC or Other Backward Class!

After all in the world’s eye, we seem to be going backwards anyways, right Mr. Arjun Singh?

Rendezvous with the Happiest City of India

The expressway that connects Bangalore to Pune could be a biker’s bliss by all means.
With roads as smooth as actress Madhuri Dixit’s cheeks, one could well afford to skate
down to Pune, only if the distance was not a whooping 500 plus kilometers.

After an idyllic zoom of 16 hours, through a scale straight highway, and 360 minute of
visual entertainment in the form of two movies, I load off at the “happiest city of India.”

Poona for the old denizens, U replacing the double OO for the young!

The humidity is conspicuous. 12.30 p.m. is no time to enter a city; or rather the outskirts
of a city. Trying to get some refreshment, I walk into a hotel which looks greatly
magnificent by the standards of the area. I ask for a bottle of soft drink, immediately
requesting for the directions to the rest room. The man on the other side of the counter uninterestingly points somewhere outside. Obediently I wag myself towards the direction.

It is an open space outside. Not convinced by the outside, I go and intrude his privacy
again. He looks unimpressed. Outside, means anywhere, he barks.

I pick up my bags and leave.

Welcome to the happiest city of India.

The auto guy is a little decent though. He shows me the safest place to relieve
myself, far from the screening eyes and humungous traffic that snarls through
the expressway. The place – the rear of a dilapidated wall!

Like a cute puppy, I happily oblige.

After all a new city, one tends to become clueless about the amenities available.
So you go by general hearsay;)! My sincere apologies for that to the
city of Poona / Pune!

My next rendezvous is with a glib of an auto driver who convinces me of the fact
that the auto fare takes a bull run as it enters the city premises.
And I? What about it? Fell head over heels at the smooth operation, not forgetting
to shake his hands and thank him for dropping me at the destined place.
Only later, realization dawning upon me for having paid at least three times the
regular fare.

The auto driver is crazily happy as he bids adieu to me.

Must be the “happiest city” tag, I summarize!

En route, he extracts the most of my coming down to his city. Jokingly, I refer of
coming to Pune with an objective of staying at Osho’s ashram.
That would have been the most ignorant mistake committed. One of the reasons,
I fathom later for me being ripped off and fleeced! But that’s that about that:)
(Whatever that means)

Reach the destination. My friend, sweet enough to pick me up from the spot,
thence ending my first adventure with the “Eton of the East”!

The second adventure….well just a blog away!!! Cheers.

10 jingles remembered…..

There are certain advertisement jingles that are so deeply rooted within us.
Wedged by nostalgia, I take the privilege of presenting 10 of them. Hope these
jingles remind you of the good old days and weave the magic of yesteryears.

Do try to hum them as you read these lines.

Apologies that the copy of some of the jingles has been washed away from my grey
cells! Still an attempt has been made to give out as much as remembered.
The translation has been italicized.

Note: The jingles are as per my preference.

One of it, “The 5 star” is a great source of inspiration till date,
when the blue clouds hover over me! Thanks to whoever created that!

Please accept my humble bow and also a 21 gun salute!

5 star (candy bar)

Jindagi mein na rahe jab, koi sapna suhana..
Din mein josh bharlo, tumhe kuch hein kar dikhanaaa…
Choo lo sitaro ko, aab door nahi hein manzil (2)

(When there are not enough inspiring dreams in life,
Make up your mind to do something...
Catch the stars, the destination is not too far away….)


Cadbury’s

Kuch khas hein, jindagi meinnnnn…
Kuch baath hein, hum sabhi meinnnn…
Baath heinnn, khasss heinnnn,
Kya swadh heinnnnnnn,
Kya swadh heinnnn, jindagi mein

(There’s something special about life, there’s something special in all of us,
Something, something special,
What a taste life has…. )

Anyone (Everyone) remembers the ad? The extremely cute girl whose boyfriend
(or brother or uncle:) hits a six during a cricket match, how she dodges the guard,
gives a perfect zig and reaches to congratulate her boyfriend (or brother or uncle)


Lifebuoy


Lala lalala lalala lalalalalalala…..

Tandoorosti ki raksha karta hein lifebuoy,
Lifebuoy hein jahaannnn, tandurusti hein wahannnn….
Lifebuoy…………

(The agility lies safely under the aegis of lifebuoy.
Wherever lifebuoy is, there is agility)

(Surely the copy writer would hang himself in shame if he reads my trans. What an ad what a translation)


Lal Danth manjan

Arree Raju, tumhare daath to Motiyo jaisey chamak rahe hein?
Kyo na ho masterji, mein dabur ka lal danth manjan jo istamal karta hoon!!!


(Raju your teeth are sparkling like pearls? Why not masterji, I use dabur’s
Lal Danth manjan)

What simplicity and class!!


Bajaj Scooter

Just remember a couple of lines…sorry!!! If anyone remembers, please do help me

Buland Bharat ki buland tasweerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
Hamara Bajaj (2)

The strong face of a strong nation…Ours Bajaj


Nirma

Nirma, Nirma, washing powder Nirma,
Doodh sein safedi, nirma sey aayi
Rangeen kapdey bhi peel peel jayey,
Sabkey pasand nirma …
Washing powder nirma…NIRMA!!


Nirma, Nirma, washing powder Nirma,
Milk like whiteness is given by Nirma
Rangeen kapdey bhi peel peel jayey, (don’t know what this means?)
Everybody’s favourite nirma
Washing powder nirma…NIRMA!!


Amul Chocolate

I am too old for... (just forgot)
Too young for …. (just forgot)
But I guess you are just right for Amul Chocolate..

Amul – the gift for someone you love!!


(Everything in English. Wish not to translate the same in Hindi…
that would look horrendous!!:)


7. Natraj Pencil


Yeh laga phir sixer
Natraj Phir Championnnn........


Here goes another sixer (cricket) Natraj is once again the champion


8. Nirma Super

Shopkeeper: Ohhoho..deepika ji
aaiye aaiye yeh raha aapka saman

Deepika ji: yeh nahi, woh..

Shopkeeper: Par aap to hamesa who mehanga wala tikiyaa….

Deepika ji: Leti thi
Kam damo mein wahi safei miley to koi woh kyo leh…
Yeh kyoo na ley…

Shopkeeper: Maan gaye

Deepika ji: Kisse?

Shopkeeper: apki paar ki nazar aur nirma super dono ko!


Shopkeeper : Welcome, welcome deepikaji
Here are your purchases
Deepikaji (picking a soap from the basket) : Not this, that!

Shopkeeper: But you always take ….?

DJ: Used to take! When I get as good a wash as this soap in that why should I take an expensive one?

Shopkeeper: Impressed!

DJ: of what

Shopkeeper: Your far sightedness and Nirma super, both!!!


9. Mango frooti…Fresh and juicy

A relatively new one this is….

Still trying to figure out who this guy called DIGEN VERMA from the Frooti ad is?


And if we could take this in the jingle section…

10. Miley sur Mera Tumhara

Miley sur mera tumhara…
To sur bane hamara…
Sur ki nadiya, behti sagaroo sein mileyyy
Badalo ka roop lekey, barsey halkey halkey….
Miley soor mera tumhara…

This is a long one......

(This became almost a national anthem. Especially when Mithun da, Jacky shroff??
And the villain Shetty clasp their hand together calling for unity…man that was raw inspiration!!! Sorry this I cannot translate in English.. one for my shortcomings and
other for the respect I have for this song!!!!

This sounds brilliant in the language it has been sung!!!



Disclaimer: The translations in English are remote. It might not be the same as the copy writer intended. That’s what yours truly understood. Hence, seek no litigation:).

Some of the exclusives remembered

Search the meaning of the word “exclusive” and about a dozen meaning pops out from Dictionary.com. But looking into the context of my ramblings, I choose the juiciest and the apt meaning which defines the term as “ Not divided or shared with others: exclusive publishing rights. (sic) exclusive broadcasting rights.

Now if only Aishwarya Rai’s sprained ankle or Salman Khan’s bulldog not eating its food could
be deemed as exclusive!

Off the cuff, let me share some of the exclusives I remember to have seen in the great Indian Idiot box.

a) The “exclusive” cover operation done by one of the channels to prove that the “Jadoo” of the Hritik Roshan featured mega-movie Koi Mil Gaya was not a robot but a fellow who lived in one of the apartments in Mumbai. The apparent puny guy was never seen on television but his family was tortured with inundated questions by a channel which beamed an exclusive logo on the left hand bottom of the screen.


b) The exclusive story on the first Indo-Pak bus trip where early in the morning an extra charged reporter asked an overtly excited reporter this question in hindi
“ Aab wahah kya ho raha hein/ aap uske bare mein batayenge hamare darshako ko? (Can you say what is happening right now over there?)
And the answer from the field, “ Aaap ko bata do ki abhi yaha pey log death manjh rahe hein….( Let me tell the viewers that the dignitaries are brushing their teeth:)
bottom centre “exclusive”.


c. The exclusive story carried by almost all the channels including the local ones of the Vivek –Ash, Salman-Ash relationship and the trauma that followed…could not decipher which one was the real exclusiveJ


d. Why is Saurav Ganguly not talking to the boys on the field and vice versa…another exclusive story. The reported stubs the mike to one non descript fellow to give an comment and the fellow also in the hoard to become famous belts reason after reason. On to the stage, an “expert” commentator who has not even played 15 matches for India gives his reasoning and expert advice about what Dada should do now…all this while the excusive band is rolling. You know where…bottom centre!!

God bless!!!! Who??

We viewers, ofcourse...:)